Pete Stark: The larger the national debt, the wealthier we are!

So the more you owe, the more you’re worth!

“Shut up!”
“Shut up!”

“This interview is over … now get the fuck out of here or I’ll throw you out the window”

Classy!

Shrub I morphs into Shrub II

ShrubMorph

Shrub-I

Shrub II

Ob-Urkel-ing the DOW

Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help

But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them…

T-Shirt Guy: “Look, if you guys are taking me back to that jail, just go ahead and shoot me, ’cause there’s no way that– (Cop shoots him with pepper spray) Ow! Fuck! Ow! Ah! Ow!”
Cop: “What? (Pepper sprays him again)”
T-Shirt Guy: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Cop: “What? (Pepper sprays him again)”
T-Shirt Guy: “Ow! God! Hey, stop!”

Obama party poster

Via Instapundit:

DearLeader2

“I give you my wooooorrrrrrd, he’s gonna fix the dust storms too. And I give you my word, he’s gonna fix the economy. And he’s so smart, he’s gonna do it all in one week.”

Pretend Panthers … Acting the Fool!

“Security” patrols stationed at polling places in Philly

Police inspect “Security” patrols

Crazed Right winger thinks it was some sort of Voting Intimidation…

but that’s just racist!

Assholes these two are, but the they can’t be real black panthers (in fact they might not even be black!) … no one can find any evidence that this actually happened! (ignore that video!) They are most certainly not black panthers … they must be … Republican plants! I know many many republicans who dress up in Black Panther costume and stand in doorways on Election Day!

Doesn’t everyone?

Well, don’t wanna sound like a dick or nothin’, but, uh, these two assholes are just fucked up. Uh, they talk like a fag, and they shit’s all retarded. What I do is just like, like, you know… like, you know what I mean? Like — ha ha ha … heh.

L.A. Times; The Idiocracy Newspaper of Record

I just got an email form a reliable source describing an L.A. Times video of Barak Obama saying some slightly controversial things at a get together with his close friends…

Here is the transcript:

Good evening folks Let me lay out my “Hope and Change” Plan for the New US Government.

We can help terminate America’s infatuation with so-called freedom of speech and replace it with hate crime bills state-wide and by enacting the Fairness Doctrine, along with federal hate crime legislation for nation-wide information control. We can use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American individual rights by claiming their activities violate civil rights.

We will wage a war of words using black leaders like Louis Farrakhan, Rev. Jesse Jackson and other visible religious personalities to promote multiculturism until such a time as Islam is the national African-American’s religion, force Christianity underground and pass laws that make Christian churches for whites only! After which we will close those churches because of their “prejudice”.

We will engage the American public in dialogues, discussions, debates in colleges, universities, public libraries, radio, TV, churches and mosques on the virtues of Islam and collectivism. Those low-brow enough to object or speak out against these ideas will be researched thoroughly by government operatives, censured and jailed if possible for expressing opinions contrary to my national leadership.

I pledge to nominate only good socialist or Muslim leaders to appointed offices, where they will enforce only those laws and legislation that are favorable to Islam and socialist beliefs. Once we have control of the legislative bodies we will be able to and support Islamic law and socialist fairness by block voting for important causes.

We have taken control of much of Hollywood, the press, TV, radio and the internet by buying the corporations or a controlling stock, once I am president we can then remove the last remnants of the greedy capitalist control. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, and policymaking positions. We will gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.

I pledge to yield control of all oil producing nations to China and Russia to reduce the fear of imminent shut-off of the lifeblood of America – the black gold. America’s economy depends on oil, (1000 products are derived from oil), so does its personal and industrial transportation and manufacturing -41% comes from the Middle East. We must not allow our Arab brothers to fall.

We can use a strategy of yelling, “foul, out-of-context, personal interpretation, hate crime, Zionist, un- American, inaccurate interpretation, racism!” any time Islam or our socialist policy is criticized or analyzed in the public arena.

I will encourage other Muslims beside myself to penetrate the Washington establishment, specifically with Islamists and socialists who can articulate a marvelous and peaceful picture of Islamic socialistic paradise.

I promise to support socialists who can make the case for Marxist ideology, acquire government positions, get membership in local school boards, and place socialist supporters in as many positions of power a possible as soon as possible after my election to high office.

I pledge to train Muslims as medical doctors in order to dominate the medical field, research and pharmaceutical companies and bring a new era of Islamic socialist ideology into the American body politic. I will encourage governmental take over the computer industry.

I will pass laws forcing the establishing of thousands of Middle Eastern fast food restaurants throughout the U.S. (Obama King!) These restaurants wll serve only healthy middle eastern food, and will also allow us to connect party planners of Socialistic Islam in a discreet way. (And over dinner!)

I will start steps toward Accelerating Socialistic Islamic demographic growth via the following:

I will support Massive immigration reform to stop immigration of Mexicans and other non Islamic peoples and pass laws favorable to Islamic immigrants.

I will outlaw birth control for Muslims – every baby of Muslim parents is automatically granted an American citizenship regardless of birth country.

I will pass laws that Socialistic Islam party member’s men must marry American women and Islamize them. We will make rules that encourage good Islamic men to divorce the white women and remarry another white woman every five years.

I will fix our unfair prison system by converting black inmates to Islam and train them as government enforcers of Islamic rules.

Reading, writing, arithmetic and research through the American educational system, mosques and student centers has been very successful in Socialistic training and dislike of Jews, evangelical Christians and democracy. I pledge to make it even better!

I will provide very sizeable monetary grants to colleges and universities in America to establish “Centers for Islamic studies” with Muslim directors to promote Islam in higher education institutions. I will also support our Communist brethren who have been held captive and powerless by the capitalists for far too long.

I will let the entire world know through propaganda, speeches, and seminars, local and national media that the true terrorists are those who have attacked Islam.

I will continue to appeal to the historically compassionate and sensitive Americans for sympathy and tolerance towards the Muslims in America who are mainly immigrants from oppressed countries.

I will maintain control of America’s sense of security by manipulating the intelligence community with misinformation. Periodically terrorize Americans of impending attacks on bridges, tunnels, water supplies, airports, apartment buildings and malls. We will only try and convict White males of these acts. (No matter who actually committed the acts, for historical fairness)

I will encourage our Socialist Islamic brethren to perform riots and demonstrations in the prison system demanding Islamic Socialism as the right way of life, not the unjust American justice system.

I will support opening numerous charities and Community organizations throughout the U.S. and use the funds to support Socialistic Islam movements and causes.

I pledge raise interest in Socialistic Islam on America’s campuses by insisting that freshman take at least one course on Socialistic Islam. Be sure that the teachers will be bonafide American, Christian, scholars who will be able to quell any questions about perceived violence in the Quran and teach students to express only the peaceful, spiritual and religious aspect of this powerful movement. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Islamic propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
Gain control of all student newspapers. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which we can then attack.

I will unify the numerous Muslim lobbies in Washington, mosques, Islamic student centers, educational organizations, magazines and papers by internet and an annual convention to coordinate plans, propagate the faith and engender news in the media of their visibility.

My private army will send intimidating messages and messengers to the outspoken individuals who are critical of socialistic Islam and seek to eliminate them by intimidation, legal mauvering jail time or untimely death.

We should all applaud those socialistically aware Muslims as loyal citizens of the US by spotlighting their voting record as the highest percentage of all minority and ethnic groups in America.

When elected I will try to promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, I will demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces.

Once I have captured one or both of the political parties in the United States, I pledge to absorb the American Communist Party into my movement!

What?!!! You say that this is not the actual transcript?

Prove it!

Next up, the guest list…

Senator Government Pays the Price for his “Dukakis Tank Moment”

I want to vote for Joe the Plumber.
The only one not selling us Brawndo.

The New Obama Salute

One Nation, Under a New Obama Salute

If a Los Angeles creative agency gets its way, Sen. Barack Obama will see fans meet him with his own salute like the one above. “Our goal is to see a crowd of 75,000 people at Obama’s nomination speech holding their hands above their heads, fingers laced together in support of a new direction for this country…

I’d like to see that myself too!

Download Link Here

It looks a little like this logo, don’t you think?

Which would be fitting as B.H.O. has recieved the Communist Party endorsement!

Cameras ready? Yes? Then launch the missiles!

5

4

3

2

1

Crap! It looks like one was a dud mister president …

But it’s okay, well we’ll just touch it up a little and send it to the media anyhoo.

… Nice! We made the front page!

Uh-oh! We got caught!

Infidels!

Boing Boing!

Hat tip LGF and Boing Boing.

Right or Left … Idiots are Idiots

I know this is old, but it’s much funnier now that they are lovebirds.

When Obama says he wants to completely change the US government, does he mean to endorse sharia?

Do a little dance. Beg a little oil. Get down tonight!

The next time some douche bag calls the USA “imperialist” just show them this video.

Americans aren’t “imperialists”, Americans are whores.

If Americans were actually imperialists the Arabian Peninsula would be called the American Oil Peninsula and Americans would all be driving 1000 hp Monster SUVs and paying 42 cents a gallon for gas.

One Horsepower Car … Literally One Horse!

Is this satire or is it serious?

You tell me.

Here is the site: FleetHorse.com

Via: AutoBlog

Here is a picture of this contraption … Thanks PoliTech for the picture!

But watch the video, it’s really funny!

Right or Left … Idiots are Idiots

Ted you dumbass, get ready for your body cavity search … you should enjoy it.

Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Wants to Kill George Bush

Ugly Betty is back on parade…

‘I could kill George Bush,’ says Nobel laureate in Dallas

In a keynote speech at the International Women’s Peace Conference on Wednesday night, Betty Williams (AKA Ugly Betty, ed.) told a crowd of about 1,000 that the Bush administration has been treacherous and wrong and acted unconstitutionally.

“Right now, I could kill George Bush,” she said at the Adam’s Mark Hotel and Conference Center in Dallas. “… How could you nonviolently kill somebody? I would love to be able to do that.”

About half the crowd gave her a standing ovation after she called for Mr. Bush’s removal …

Was she drunk again or is she just plain stupid?. You just know that she dosen’t see any irony whatsoever in wanting the President dead … while speaking in Dallas.

Last year, on some grassy knoll in Australia, this same asshole blathered on with the same kind of nonsense:

From the Idiot’s Wiki

On July 24, 2006, while delivering a speech at the Earth Dialogue forums, Williams told school children at the Brisbane City Hall,

“I have a very hard time with this word ‘non-violence’, because I don’t believe that I am non-violent,” said Ms Williams, 64.

“Right now, I would love to kill George Bush.” Her young audience at the Brisbane City Hall clapped and cheered.

“I don’t know how I ever got a Nobel Peace Prize…

Yea … same here.

What an idiot.

The Sounds of Video Gaming

Turn the sound on and listen to the play by play.

Two thousand students … One bathroom

The idiots in charge of Freedom High School, in Tampa, think it’s a good idea to fight graffitti … by closing down all of the school bathrooms.

The School administrators are then shocked and outraged when students begin urinating on bushes and into bottles.

Read about the tards here…
Video Here

Richard Bartels, Freedom High School Principal says this:
“The bathrooms are cleaner, vandalism is under control.”

What a dumbshit! Principal Dick is seriously in need of a Swirlie

Image Credit: funkypancake

Al Gore’s House Powered by His Own Hot Air

Conservative groups claim that Al Gore’s Nashville mansion uses too much electricity. But a spokeswoman for Gore said the former vice president creates enough of his own renewable energy to make up for the home’s power consumption.

Al Gore’s house is actually powered by a new technology called the pompous wind-baggery thermal conversion generator.

AL Gore generates his energy by using his nearly endless supply of hot air, which is converted to power by concentrating the limitless supply of bile filled ranting anti technology diatribe available in any typical Al Gore speech using the “pompous wind-baggery thermal conversion generator”.

The new technology can power the Gore house for more than a whole day, power a normal American house for about a year, or power an entire third world nation for several years (may require using a longer version of the typical Gore “doom and gloom” speech).

Al Gore also supplies a large amount of methane gas but Gore spokesmen were unwilling to elaborate more on the Gore methane production, saying only that the amount of gas available was “significant”. Scientists assure us that this is possible as Al Gore spends a significant amount of his speech time talking from his “Methane Production Facility”.

Gore participates in a utility buyback program and contributes blocks of his own brand of “green power” selling hundreds of “green power” blocks to the power utilities every month. The income received by Gore through this program is helping subsidize his own renewable energy source by aiding him with expenses incurred jetting, bussing and SUV-ing around the country from place to place speechifying and bellowing about the “end of the world”.

This world changing energy technology is still in secret development. Al Gore has been regularly attached to the beta model, and he has been thoroughly testing the output by burning more energy to power his home per day than the amount of power used by some third world nations in a year.

Talks are under way with Al Gore to harness this enormous potential energy resource but the EPA is concerned that the accompanying noise pollution will prove detrimental to the technology, by making it almost impossible to escape the constant droning of Al Gore’s voice as the windbag generates ever more hot air with his non-stop finger pointing, laying of blame and “end of the world” predictions.

DNA Proves Strom Thurmond is a Relative of the Entire Congressional Black Caucus

Reverend Al Sharpton is not alone and Strom isn’t the only white guy he’s related to!

DNA proof that Strom Thurmond is closely related to every member of the Congressional Black Caucus.

This evidence also shows that Robert “Kleagle” Byrd is also closely related to every member of the Congressional Black Caucus.

In fact Strom and the Kleagle are really Africans!

By analyzing DNA from people in all regions of the world, American geneticist Dr. Spencer Wells has concluded that all humans alive today are descended from a San bushman (and all of his hoochie mamas) who lived in Africa around 60,000 years ago.

Who are the bigger dumbasses? Race baiting reporters or race baiting politicians?

Julie Amero and the Porn Pop-Ups … The Secret Story

I got an interesting email today…

Hi Idiocracy! I just got an email from a friend that I simply had to share with you!

from XXXXXXX@fastgate.net
to XXXXXXX@optimum.com
date Feb 13, 2007 1:47 AM
subject RE: Wasn’t Julie Amero your substitute teacher?

Hi I really shouldn’t tell you this cuz I don’t want to get anyone in trouble but it all happened a couple years ago so I guess it’s ok by now…it was just seventh grade … and this is so cool your gonna just freak out!

Me and Eileen were sitting in class. Mr. Jones said that we were going to have a sub, she – the sub – was already there and sitting in front of the computer, so just before the bell rang the sub gets up and goes out in the hall. Well the teach looks kinda pissed and he grabs his coat and leaves too.

So were sitting there and Eileen is like “hey lets play a trick on the sub!” So I’m like all into it…. you know how i am!!! ^_^ so anyway we go over to the computer and she says “I really messed up my dads computer when I was looking for a new hairstyle” and so she googles some hairstyle words and starts clicking the web sites.

Well the next thing you know there are like twenty windows popping up all over the place. And so i didn’t want to get left out and i started clicking ok and install and allow … to every button I could find.

Well the sub comes back and she tells us to go back to our seats. Well by the time we sit at our desks everybody in class is laughing and the sub is looking at everybody … but she don’t know what’s so funny. So that makes me and Eileen start laughing. And by then there were tons of windows popping up all over the place, all pron!!!

Then one of the boys says to the sub “you been surfing too much porn before class!” so the sub looks at the computer and she is just like starting at it.

ha ha ha ha NO CLUE !!!

She looked at the computer like it was gonna bite her! So the boys all get up and start crowding around and then she is like “NO! Go sit down!!! Everybody back in your seats!” So she starts clicking to close the windows but that don’t do her no good it just pops up five or six more windows for every one she closes…and the whole class is just cracking up

Then she is like trying to turn the monitor to the wall but the wires get all twisted and she turns it the other way so it’s kind of pointing at the window, but the boys try to check it out anyway and she starts yelling for everybody to sit down again … then that don’t work and so she takes off out of the room like a rocket! I swear i didn’t know she could move that fast. Ha ha

So a few days later the sub got busted and now it’s in the paper like every day! This has to be the best prank ever…if teh sub gets 40 years then Me and Eileen are gonna admit it, but if she just gets a few years we will stay shut up…either ways it will make us legends

I changed the names for privacy. Wouldn’t want the little pranksters to get into any trouble!

Here’s the trial report:

The Judge says, “You shut up! Now… I am fixin’ to commensurate this trial here. We gonna see if we can’t come up with a verdict up in here.”

Julie’s lawyer looks at Julie and says, “Says here you, uh, showed porn to a school full of kids? Why’d you do that?”

Then Julie said, “Yeah. I’m not guilty.”

Julie’s lawyer points at the prosecutor and yells, “That’s not what the other lawyer said.”

Rehabilitation!

Later a reporter on TV said, “It’s Julie Amero who finds herself in the toilet now. And as history pulls down its pants and prepares to lower it’s ass on Julie Amero’s head, it will be Daddy Justice who will be crapping on her this time.”

Wow she got her name on TV!

Update: On November 21, 2008 Julie Amero agreed to plead guilty to a single charge of disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. Amero, who has been hospitalized and suffers from declining health, also surrendered her teaching license.

What a travesty. Now we all know, New London County State’s Attorney Michael Regan is a cocksucker.